Blog contributed by Nancy Peardon, Founder, Hot Flash Pillow, LLC

Empowering ourselves with good information in terms of self-care and stress management during menopause shouldn’t be underestimated. There’s so much hype out there aimed at women! My decline in estrogen, escalating hot flashes, and unexpected insomnia gave me all the motivation I needed to begin searching for answers.  I recalled a Harvard Women’s Health report from 2008 touting a scientific study which discovered numbing a cluster of nerves in the neck worked to cure hot flashes.  Last year, I used a twist on that science as the basis for creating Hot Flash Pillow, a small freezer-stored product which does everything I need it to do – safely.  I was thrilled to discover that the steps I took to help myself really did work to relieve my hot flashes and insomnia. Talk about feeling empowered!  I’m no longer stressed because of those symptoms.  I’m much more comfortable, I sleep better, and I’ve found my smile again.

Still, my mind isn’t firing up the way it used to. I’ve opted out of using HRT, even though I realize a little estrogen would clear up my brain fog in a heartbeat.  That’s because estrogen also affects the brain’s synapses, and synapses determine how fast the brain processes information.  I’m painfully aware I don’t make the connections as easily as I used to, and thinking requires more energy, focus and determination.  So, I do what I can do to keep my brain fog at a minimum.  Good nutrition and an active body, combined with an active mind, are optimal for good brain health. I do my best to maintain a healthy brain by exercising daily and eating walnuts, blueberries, and wild salmon on a regular basis. I also take fish oil supplements and 2000 I.U. of Vitamin D daily.

Making the best of menopause has forced me to think creatively since estrogen is also responsible for things like our skin’s elasticity and our vaginal lubrication. Painful intercourse isn’t readily discussed by women, even though it frequently accompanies menopause. In lieu of estrogen, I’m drinking Oatstraw tea infusions because Oatstraw is touted as an excellent source of phytoestrogens. Surprisingly, Mother Nature’s remedy seems to be helping me tremendously.  I consider going through this challenging, mystifying menopausal metamorphosis to be a fascinating rite of passage into the second half of my life.  Women need to keep sharing with each other.  We can inspire and support one another, empowering ourselves through this extraordinary life transition.

http://www.hotflashpillow.com/

• 1. Estrogen replacement therapy is the first “remedy” you can consider if you don’t have a risk of breast or ovarian cancer. However,  there are different forms of estrogen replacement with different types of estrogen. Your best bet is to research key women’s health web sites, and bring your questions in to your physician to discuss your options.
• 2.  Exercise is Not a “Sometimes” Pill!  You must commit to exercise as daily medicine, not just an “extra-curricular” activity that we know from our days in high school.  You need at least 30 minutes of exercise 6 days a week.It’s a pathway to healthy living and gives you many rewards, not the least of which is improved circulation that helps you feel better.  This alone is worth it and you may even loose weight, but you must at least start to think of it as a 6 day a week pill.   If you’re like me you don’t like exercising alone, so look for opportunities to join a fitness club or charity bike ride.   What about Zumba?  Have you tried rowing crew?  As a midlife woman, exercise a pathway to wellbeing, addressing stress, depression, anxiety, and weight gain.
• 3. Ingest  foods that are rich in Omega-3 Fatty Acids.  You must know about  this particular FAT as an overall component of healthy living.  I’ve just started taking DHA along with Vitamin D and Calcium because I’m not eating enough salmon or tuna.  While we tend to think of fat is as troubling as a red light in the rear view mirrow, this one is like a red carpet escort. DHA is a fat that seems to be the key component of your cells’ membranes that lets it withstand the stress of inflammation and other bumps the way bumper cars survive to carry another rider. You give it preferentially to your offspring through your uterus or breast milk (DHA is the only omega-3 food additive approved for baby formula). If you don’t have enough of it, you can develop nerve dysfunction (depression in some), or deficient eyesight (dry macular degeneration) or fading memory (why did I go to the living room?).

Here’s the book called “The Second Half Of Your Life” by Jill Shaw Ruddock, and published by Random House in the UK.  The book is available here  on Amazon.com.

Whether well planned or unfolding as emergency, this a challenging task. It is one that necessitates changes, parent/child communication, family support, community services, shared information, financial resources, legal expertise, and medical care.

Read More from Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., our Guest Clinical Psychologist and Author, Care of an Aging Parent: Enhancing the Psychological Journey, here…

Interested in learning more and speaking with our experts live?  Tomorrow, Wednesday, January 11th, join Kelley Connors, MPH, Women’s Wellness Advocate with Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D. on Real Women on Health On-line Radio, with Carolyn Brent, Author, “Why Wait? The Boomer’s Guide to Preparing Emotionally, Financially and Legally for a Parent’s Death”.

Just dial 1-646-929-2625 at 12:30 pm EST to listen in, talk or just say hello!

How Do  You Know When You’re Done Having Kids?

Our real woman on health patient, Tracey, explained to us last week on our radio show that she wanted to be able to enjoy her two children – a boy and a girl – and with both her and her husband working, “we decided that we had enough with 2 and felt very blessed”.  Tracey has some unique insights that will help women, moms, step moms, consider when enough is really enough.  At 37, Tracey is typical and as she puts it “in good company” with the majority of women over 40 who do seek permanent birth control.

What women must know about advances in birth control today:  

1. The biggest obstacle to choosing any kind of birth control seems to be the number of options – there are over 17 different birth control options – and understanding how they are different from one another is important.  Luckily, there are only two truly “permanent” birth control options, and only one of the two options is “surgery-free”.

Here’s a handy list so you can see how how permanent birth control stacks up against the other options.  For example, barrier methods, like an implantable IUD, or a condom, aren’t really permanent and less effective than a true “permanent” option of which there are two:  tubal ligation (surgery to “tie your tubes”) and a surgery-free option, non-hormonal (no estrogen or other hormones).

2.  Permanent really does mean permanent with this surgery-free birth control option.  Once you go ahead with the procedure, you can’t “untie” the tubes without more surgery so you must be sure you are DONE having kids.

3.  You must talk to your ObGyn and ask these questions, about this surgery-free birth control option.

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I’ve recently learned about this one surgery-free option that makes “getting your tubes tied” so yesterday. It could also save you time waiting for your husband to get around to the vasectomy he agreed to. In fact, a recent HealthyWomen survey shows, women think they’d have a better chance of winning the lottery before their guy will have his vasectomy.

That’s why I could have titled this article, “Permanent Surgery-Free Contraception: Not Your Mother’s Birth Control,” because women today have never had more options when it comes to birth control. So if you’re still using the same form of birth control you were using a decade or more ago, it’s time for an update. And, if your lifestyle or focus has changed over the past few years or even months, your health care professional can help you determine a method that best fits your current needs.

Join us here on Real Women on Health On-line Radio to find out more… on January 5th with Dr. Amy Brenner, Gynecologist, Mother, Wife, Friend and Dog and Cat Owner. Dr. Brenner is a practicing gynecologist in Cincinnati, Ohio and will be speaking with Kelley Connors, MPH, @12:30 pm EST for 30 minutes on Real Women on Health on-line radio.  Dr. Brenner was also just named CincyChic’s Woman-of-the-Year!

ARE YOU A BLOGGER FOCUSED ON WOMEN’S HEALTH OR  MOTHERHOOD? If so, you’re invited to join us, ask questions or simply comment. We will give you and your blog a “shout out” on our show and provide you with content for more in-depth writing. Simply e-mail Kelley Connors at Kelley@kc-health.com for more information!

Written by Best-Selling Author, Marci Shimoff

At last, we’re in the final countdown of the holidays! I’ve been waiting excitedly to share with you one of my favorite holiday stories (at the end of this article) and my favorite advice for fully enjoying the holiday spirit.

If you think about it, all the gifts, parties, and holiday fuss boil down to one thing — love. Love is the #1 ingredient we need to experience holiday cheer and the absence of it is what brings holiday woe.

So how can you experience more love this season?

Practice being a good receiver!

What you say? Isn’t this season about giving? Yes, giving is a wonderful thing that helps us feel good, but if we can’t fully receive people’s gifts and kindness, open up to support, and let love in then we can’t actually FEEL the love.

Unfortunately, many people have a hard time receiving. Here are three ways you can strengthen your receiving muscle this holiday:

1. Pay attention to the gifts all around you each day — not just the BIG gifts, but the small ones, as well. Notice the kindness of the salesclerk, the smile on your neighbor’s face, the beauty of the winter landscape. Be on the look-out for the many gifts of the day.

2. Look for the blessings — even in the hard stuff, which often shows up during this season. Just as an experiment, assume that everything that happens is a gift for you. The universe is on your side. How would you look at and experience your challenges differently, if you imagined it was all for your good? Give it a try.

3. Savor the good. My neuropsychologist friend Rick Hanson says that it takes about 20 seconds to deeply register the good. So, acknowledge a compliment rather than dismiss it, express appreciation for the gifts you receive. Deeply take things in and bathe in them.

I’d love to hear what tips you use to open up and receive. Please share them with me at http://www.facebook.com/MarciShimoffFan

My Passage: How I Found the ME in Menopause.

Midlife is a journey, or as best-selling author, Gail Sheehy, might say, a passage or transition. Only there are distinct differences from that original publication back in 1976 when Ms. Sheehy was in her late 30’s, and first wrote about the midlife “crisis” as passage point.

Ms. Sheehy is the first to admit that the first book fell short on what would become the real midlife, as she had no idea of what 50 might look like herself in 1976, other than distinctly “old” images of her mother and father. Sound familiar? (Since then Ms. Sheehy has written New Passages and Passages for Caregivers, inspiring many women like me to also share my “passage”.)

Things are different today, in 2012, as we now know that menopause is a time of estrogen-deficiency, and not a crisis at all, but a virtual gateway to the next 30-40 more years of life.    It’s a time of awakening, of realizing our potential, and potentially a very free-ing time in our lives.

That’s how I’ve chosen to see this time in my life and I’d like to be one of the increasing numbers of “old” women, who might see 92 from the third seat in a scull, and rowing in a Master’s rowing event instead of succumbing to osteoporosis, one of my biggest risk factors.

So, with my vision for how I wanted to be at 92,  I became more interested in creating a foundation for wellbeing, a pathway that would give me the tools for a positive mindset, a flexible and strong body, and the energy to be creative – all factors in assuring longevity. Research shows us that doing all we can do in our 50’s is critical to setting a foundation for living well through out our life – emotionally, physically and spiritually.

How I Have Reinvented Menopause (so far)

As I near menopause, I decided to take new steps – steps that I had previously not really considered important in my life.

Now that I understand more about the physiological changes associated with estrogen loss, I decide to be more proactive in preserving my quality of life, and perhaps even gain strength, muscle mass and, the holy grail, fulfillment and happiness.

One thing was motivating me for sure – I did not want to succumb to the conflicting and disingenuous advertising messages we’re bombarded with as we women age!

First, I started to exercise for wellbeing.   I made a decision to join a women’s rowing, or crew team and enjoy the company of like-minded women.   It was not a decision that was easy to make, as I’m not an early morning person, but, as I’ve come to appreciate, there’s nothing like rowing on calm waters – and, there’s no better way to start a hectic day than rowing at 7 am.  The really great thing about rowing is that you have to learn to “recover” from each stroke, giving you the cardiovascular strength you need to row for at least 30 minutes and possibly, achieve your target heart rate for at least 20 minutes.  Cardiovascular strength training such as rowing or bike riding, is good for your heart, and makes you feel better, giving you a sense of wellbeing.  While you will probably loose weight, the sense of wellbeing will be motivation enough to continue your commitment to yourself.  You might even be able to rid yourself of an anti-depressant prescription!

Second, I took a proactive mindset instead of a reactive mindset around nutrition.  One of the changes I made to my diet, as a result, was taking dietary supplements.  New research showed that taking a multi-vitamin may not help us women live longer.   However, there are several key dietary supplements that are recommended for menopausal women such as fish oil supplements ( Omega-3 fatty acids), Vitamin D and Calcium.   Have you considered taking any of these supplements that are proven to help menopausal women?

Third, I created my first ME-Pause.  This new concept was packaged in a not so neat bow, with no clear answer, no clinical trails, and, ironically, no obvious relationship to my health.  My Me-Pause was a defining moment as I declared the death of my life as a run-on sentence. Taking time to pause, reflect, think and plan have become more important to me.  Putting a comma in a sentence is a good thing. And, when you do this, menopause is much more fun, and wiser.

My ME-Pause turned out to be a cultural expedition to a little known ancient civilization, the last Shangri-La and a Buddhist haven nestled in the Himalayan Mountains – Bhutan.   A remote civilization with few roads and hundreds of temples, Bhutan measures its progress by Gross National Happiness – as opposed to GNP.   As Buddhists, the Bhutanese believe happiness arises from causing happiness in others. It’s more than a fleeting feeling of joy, but a belief in the power of positive thoughts, simple acts of kindness and love that transform people, communities and our relationship to the world.

The overarching result of my two-week trip to Bhutan with my aunt remains significant in my life today.  I’m looking at menopause as a glass half full, a time in my life that is just the beginning to finding and designing the second half of my life with renewed passions and interests.  I’m seeing, for the first time, that I can create my own wellspring for living better .. and into old age..and just maybe, I’ll have that third seat in the scull with three other women rowing the calm waters of the early morning.

Are You Interested in Designing the Second Half of Your Life?  Join Real Women on Health this Wednesday, January 18^th at 12:30 pm with Jill Shaw Ruddock, Best-Selling Author, “The Second Half of Your Life’.  Here’s your invitation to join us, Real Women on Health, for this on-line roundtable:  http://eepurl.com/isFd6

Kelley Connors, MPH, is a women’s wellness coach, marketer and advocate for women’s health.  She is the founder of Real Women on Health and President and Chief Creative Officer for KC Health.

The reality is that despite the horror stories of friends or the fictional depictions of perfect couples repelling down snowy peaks, the experience of midlife dating really depends upon your goal.  When you expand the goal of midlife dating from finding someone to finding and re-defining yourself, the experience changes. Instead of a solution to being alone – midlife dating becomes an evolution of self.

Join Kelley Connors, MPH, Women’s Wellness Coach, host of Real Women on Health with Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D.  Dr. Phillips is a licensed clinical psychologist and Huffington Post blogger as well as author.  She is Adjunct Professor of Clinical Psychology in the Doctoral Program of Long Island University and on the faculty of the Post-Doctoral Programs of the Derner Institute of Adelphi University.

When: Wednesday, December 14th @12:30 pm EST

Where: Real Women on Health On-line Radio Show

Dial in:  1-646-929-2625 and press #1 if you would like to talk to us. If you just want to listen, that is fine, too. You can also listen here, through the computer while you work.

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Our show on Wednesday will include members from the Blue Thong Society and more…!  Join us!