Written by Best-Selling Author, Marci Shimoff

At last, we’re in the final countdown of the holidays! I’ve been waiting excitedly to share with you one of my favorite holiday stories (at the end of this article) and my favorite advice for fully enjoying the holiday spirit.

If you think about it, all the gifts, parties, and holiday fuss boil down to one thing — love. Love is the #1 ingredient we need to experience holiday cheer and the absence of it is what brings holiday woe.

So how can you experience more love this season?

Practice being a good receiver!

What you say? Isn’t this season about giving? Yes, giving is a wonderful thing that helps us feel good, but if we can’t fully receive people’s gifts and kindness, open up to support, and let love in then we can’t actually FEEL the love.

Unfortunately, many people have a hard time receiving. Here are three ways you can strengthen your receiving muscle this holiday:

1. Pay attention to the gifts all around you each day — not just the BIG gifts, but the small ones, as well. Notice the kindness of the salesclerk, the smile on your neighbor’s face, the beauty of the winter landscape. Be on the look-out for the many gifts of the day.

2. Look for the blessings — even in the hard stuff, which often shows up during this season. Just as an experiment, assume that everything that happens is a gift for you. The universe is on your side. How would you look at and experience your challenges differently, if you imagined it was all for your good? Give it a try.

3. Savor the good. My neuropsychologist friend Rick Hanson says that it takes about 20 seconds to deeply register the good. So, acknowledge a compliment rather than dismiss it, express appreciation for the gifts you receive. Deeply take things in and bathe in them.

I’d love to hear what tips you use to open up and receive. Please share them with me at http://www.facebook.com/MarciShimoffFan

My Passage: How I Found the ME in Menopause.

Midlife is a journey, or as best-selling author, Gail Sheehy, might say, a passage or transition. Only there are distinct differences from that original publication back in 1976 when Ms. Sheehy was in her late 30’s, and first wrote about the midlife “crisis” as passage point.

Ms. Sheehy is the first to admit that the first book fell short on what would become the real midlife, as she had no idea of what 50 might look like herself in 1976, other than distinctly “old” images of her mother and father. Sound familiar? (Since then Ms. Sheehy has written New Passages and Passages for Caregivers, inspiring many women like me to also share my “passage”.)

Things are different today, in 2012, as we now know that menopause is a time of estrogen-deficiency, and not a crisis at all, but a virtual gateway to the next 30-40 more years of life.    It’s a time of awakening, of realizing our potential, and potentially a very free-ing time in our lives.

That’s how I’ve chosen to see this time in my life and I’d like to be one of the increasing numbers of “old” women, who might see 92 from the third seat in a scull, and rowing in a Master’s rowing event instead of succumbing to osteoporosis, one of my biggest risk factors.

So, with my vision for how I wanted to be at 92,  I became more interested in creating a foundation for wellbeing, a pathway that would give me the tools for a positive mindset, a flexible and strong body, and the energy to be creative – all factors in assuring longevity. Research shows us that doing all we can do in our 50’s is critical to setting a foundation for living well through out our life – emotionally, physically and spiritually.

How I Have Reinvented Menopause (so far)

As I near menopause, I decided to take new steps – steps that I had previously not really considered important in my life.

Now that I understand more about the physiological changes associated with estrogen loss, I decide to be more proactive in preserving my quality of life, and perhaps even gain strength, muscle mass and, the holy grail, fulfillment and happiness.

One thing was motivating me for sure – I did not want to succumb to the conflicting and disingenuous advertising messages we’re bombarded with as we women age!

First, I started to exercise for wellbeing.   I made a decision to join a women’s rowing, or crew team and enjoy the company of like-minded women.   It was not a decision that was easy to make, as I’m not an early morning person, but, as I’ve come to appreciate, there’s nothing like rowing on calm waters – and, there’s no better way to start a hectic day than rowing at 7 am.  The really great thing about rowing is that you have to learn to “recover” from each stroke, giving you the cardiovascular strength you need to row for at least 30 minutes and possibly, achieve your target heart rate for at least 20 minutes.  Cardiovascular strength training such as rowing or bike riding, is good for your heart, and makes you feel better, giving you a sense of wellbeing.  While you will probably loose weight, the sense of wellbeing will be motivation enough to continue your commitment to yourself.  You might even be able to rid yourself of an anti-depressant prescription!

Second, I took a proactive mindset instead of a reactive mindset around nutrition.  One of the changes I made to my diet, as a result, was taking dietary supplements.  New research showed that taking a multi-vitamin may not help us women live longer.   However, there are several key dietary supplements that are recommended for menopausal women such as fish oil supplements ( Omega-3 fatty acids), Vitamin D and Calcium.   Have you considered taking any of these supplements that are proven to help menopausal women?

Third, I created my first ME-Pause.  This new concept was packaged in a not so neat bow, with no clear answer, no clinical trails, and, ironically, no obvious relationship to my health.  My Me-Pause was a defining moment as I declared the death of my life as a run-on sentence. Taking time to pause, reflect, think and plan have become more important to me.  Putting a comma in a sentence is a good thing. And, when you do this, menopause is much more fun, and wiser.

My ME-Pause turned out to be a cultural expedition to a little known ancient civilization, the last Shangri-La and a Buddhist haven nestled in the Himalayan Mountains – Bhutan.   A remote civilization with few roads and hundreds of temples, Bhutan measures its progress by Gross National Happiness – as opposed to GNP.   As Buddhists, the Bhutanese believe happiness arises from causing happiness in others. It’s more than a fleeting feeling of joy, but a belief in the power of positive thoughts, simple acts of kindness and love that transform people, communities and our relationship to the world.

The overarching result of my two-week trip to Bhutan with my aunt remains significant in my life today.  I’m looking at menopause as a glass half full, a time in my life that is just the beginning to finding and designing the second half of my life with renewed passions and interests.  I’m seeing, for the first time, that I can create my own wellspring for living better .. and into old age..and just maybe, I’ll have that third seat in the scull with three other women rowing the calm waters of the early morning.

Are You Interested in Designing the Second Half of Your Life?  Join Real Women on Health this Wednesday, January 18^th at 12:30 pm with Jill Shaw Ruddock, Best-Selling Author, “The Second Half of Your Life’.  Here’s your invitation to join us, Real Women on Health, for this on-line roundtable:  http://eepurl.com/isFd6

Kelley Connors, MPH, is a women’s wellness coach, marketer and advocate for women’s health.  She is the founder of Real Women on Health and President and Chief Creative Officer for KC Health.

We thank Judy and her colleagues and staff for advocating for the voice of real women who will largely be affected by today’s politics and policies around health reform and the Medicare and Medicaid budget cuts.

Read more…

Join Judy Norsigian, Executive Director, Our Bodies Ourselves, on Wednesday, May 25th @12:30 pm EST here on our on-line radio show. Judy and Kelley will be discussing this pivotal time in women’s health – 40 years after the first “Our Bodies Ourselves” was written – to discuss “What’s at Stake: Choice and Change” in the Women’s Health Movement.

If you’d like to listen to our on-line radio show via phone, simply call 1-646-929-2625 @12:30 pm EST. If you would like to listen through your computer, go here to our on-line radio show.

Either way, if you have any questions or comments, we welcome them prior to show time by emailing Kelley@realwomenonhealth.com or during the show (via computer or telephone).

In fact, many women feel invisible in the media and have a difficult time finding women like us. How do you feel about that? Do images of younger women flood your brain when you’re at the movies, reading magazines or looking for new clothes?

What about sleep? What keeps you from getting a restful sleep? What’s changed for you?

Take a listen and add your own tips here. We’d love to know what your own strategies are around beauty, sleep, sex and more…

This year is a special year for women around the world as we celebrate the 100th International Women’s Day, now recognized as a global mainstream phenomena and celebrated as an official holiday in approximately 25 countries including Afghanistan, Russia, Ukraine, Vietnam and Zambia.

As a women’s health advocate, marketer and communicator, I’m thrilled to see the bridge as a metaphor used to rally women and men at a time when we American women have a great role to play in bridging to a better future for our daughters. We also have a great opportunity to build solidarity with and among women all over the world.

Women in the US, for the most part, are a privileged community. Compared to women worldwide, the education and economic conditions of most women in the US far surpass countries like India, China and other developing nations and our health and wellbeing is generally better as a result.

Some of our celebratory highlights include the fact we women here in the US make up 50% of the work force, are starting businesses at twice the rate of men, and, notably, single women represent more of today’s home buyers than single men. And, during the current economic recession, unemployment rates for women have been lower than for men.

On the other hand, there are glaring contradictions in our country, and particularly when you look at domestic violence among young women and access to health care for women, for example, women suffering from HIV/AIDS. That’s why we must continue to build a bridge – a bridge to the better future our daughters and sisters are expecting from us.

For example, here in America, the rise in domestic violence against young women is complemented by new findings that some male partners are sabotaging women’s efforts to prevent pregnancy. At the same time, in developing countries, strong cultural norms still promote the practice of female genital mutilation. Around the world, young women are victims of sex trafficking and its horrific consequences.

That’s why IWD is very relevant for women in the US.

The bridge is also about SOLIDARITY and our ability to support women globally, far away from our own immediate needs – like the Egyptian women who have courageously participated in their country’s political uprising. And, who have forever change how the women in that country view their own power. It’s greater than “liberalism” as women lead the debate and seek a place at the new, and uncertain, political table.

In the spirit of the digital sisterhood and on International Women’s Day, let’s continue to build communities that allow us to share our unique voices and, at the same time, build a bridge of solidarity with our global sisters who are burdened with the struggle to find their voice.

Are you kidding?? You mean losing weight?  Those twenty pounds I never lost?

But, truth be told, I did accomplish something I  NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT I WOULD EVER DO and it was so much BIGGER than health, exercise, or losing weight.  It was an unspoken dare that I met with confidence!

I rode 100 miles around Lake Tahoe to benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society as part of the Team in Training program.   Armed with the support of my sister, my husband and friends, I jumped on my first bike ride in March and finished 12 weeks of training on Saturdays before getting on the plane with thousands of others raising funds for leukemia.  I can’t tell you how thrilling it was!

So, while it was not on my resolution list a year ago, I did, in fact, train for and complete the ride and I can’t wait to do it again this year – even if I stay local in Connecticut for the 63-mile Bloomin’ Metric.

But, I’ll need help in achieving my goal in 2011…and I invite you to join us as we support other women, like you,  in achieving their goal, too.

Here’s your invitation to make  2011 YOUR time…and go after something you never would consider doing on your own.

It might be time to change your  life and actually accomplish something fulfilling, right?

Here’s how you can make 2011 a year that’s fulfilling, exciting and purposeful!

Join Cassie and I on January 5^th at 12:30 pm,  with Barbara Hannah Grufferman, Author of “The Best of Everything After 50” in our 30 minute on-line radio show (like a kitchen table talk conversation).  Our conversation is about how we can take small steps to achieve a big goal and actually change our life.  Just ask Barbara!

Barbara kick started her 2010 by declaring that she would run the NYC Marathon.  Find out from the expert how the process of training for the marathon lieterally “changed her life” and put her on a pathway to exercise and vitality.

Here’s your secret code to join us:  Just dial 1-646-929-2625 or get an account with blogtalkradio and dial in on Wednesday, January 5th at 12:30 pm EST.  We’ll follow this show with additional on-line radio shows so we can share our victories and vices!

I’m interested in menopause because with women living well into their 80’s, and with an average age of menopause at 50 – there remains about 30 years of healthy aging during which time many early age habits reveal their havoc…and fruits.

One of the most interesting presentations incorporated information around preventing fractures during this estrogen-deficient time in women’s lives. In fact, by labeling this time in women’s lives as “estrogen-deficient” as opposed to a “disease or medical problem”, I believe there could be a more “whole woman” approach to managing bone health that includes exercise, diet and lifestyle changes.

3 Key Take-Aways:

1.  Management of bone health must start earlier in a woman’s life to prolong bone health as long as possible. It’s inevitable that women will loose bone once estrogen levels decline.  Bone density tests will only confirm that, yes – just as science says, women lose bone as they age.  That’s nothing new. How we manage it though requires a mindset shift.

2.  The mindset shift is needed because of the way we’ve treated millions of pre-menopausal and post-menopausal women presenting with “low” bone density scores.  The news is not that more women may need osteoporosis drugs to manage osteoporosis.   In fact, many women could be over-treated with biphosphonates like Actonel, Boniva and Fosamax.   There has also been concern that long-term use of these drugs may result in an accumulation of older bone in the skeleton (because the drugs slow down the activity of scavenger cells, which clear away older bone to make room for new). Right now this is more a theory than a finding, but the thinking is that over time these drugs might make the skeleton more, not less, brittle.

3.  What would make an approach to bone health  more comprehensive and palatable to woman who don’t like Rx drugs added onto their breakfast plate, is more awareness about  an assessment of the 10-year estimate of the risk of fracture.  Called FRAX, the test includes a bone density test and is one that many doctors still under-utilize as a tool to predict risk of fracture.  FRAX was introduced in 1994 – a while ago – but it’s not a drug and requires time to administer and analyze.  For more information on FRAX check out the National Osteoporosis Foundation’s web site.

The tool that requires the healthcare professional to carefully input risk factors like smoking, age, alcohol consumption,  and other risk indicators as well as the bone density test results.  But, it is “spine-less” in that it does not reveal vertebral fracture.

The net result: Over-treatment

A considerable number of younger postmenopausal women whose risk of fracturing a bone in the near future is statistically minuscule are being treated prematurely or unnecessarily. Nelson B. Watts, MD, of the University of Cincinnati Bone Health and Osteoporosis Center, says that if 30-year-old women submitted themselves en masse to the World Health Organization’s measurement criteria, fully 16 percent would be diagnosed with Osteopenia – a condition that, in and of itself, does not require medication but prevention!  It is never too late to prevent progression of Osteopenia!

The Net Result: Under-treatment

The other, perhaps more troubling, side of this story: Under the current parameters, many older people who face immediate grave risk of fracture aren’t getting treatment, simply because their T-scores don’t demand it. At Oregon Health & Science University, a 2005 study of women age 65 and older found that, based on the World Health Organization’s bone density criteria, more than half of the women who suffered hip fractures did not technically have osteoporosis.

Here’s what a Real Woman Can Do:

Let’s work on preventing osteoporosis not treating it before we really have it!  No doubt that many (but not all) women in their 50’s can work with their healthcare professional or nutritionist to achieve the recommended dose of calcium and Vitamin D for prevention of osteoporosis – before women age into their 60′s and 70′s…. where the “real risk” of fracture increases exponentially as estrogen-deficiency takes a greater toll …and environmental factors play a greater role.

Hey, here’s a way to reduce fracture risk:  get off that step ladder and let someone else clean the gutters!

Many people mistakenly believe that beautiful eyes and seeing well translates to good eye health.

But, as women, our own vision can be compromised by “presbyopia” as well as other age-related and environmental conditions that create dry eyes, itchy eyes and watery eyes.   For example, in menopause, women may experience dry eyes that, if not treated, can affect the quality of vision as well as comfort and quality of life.

Although it’s hard to put your own health first, you shouldn’t have to “put up with” discomfort in your eyes or strain in reading.  It’s definitely worth seeing an eye doctor to explore what the cause and treatment might be.

If an annual eye exam has not been on your “wellness list,” you might want to book your eye doctor appointment and while you’re at it, book one for your children.

Did you know that about 20 percent of children develop nearsightedness—the most common eye condition requiring vision correction?

Good vision is critical to children’s development, so once you’re at the doctor,   make sure you save time and ask about the best vision correction options for your kids.

If your child is eight years of age or older, contact lenses may be a good choice and your eye care professional can help evaluate if it’s the best fit.

The benefits of contacts for children extend far beyond just improved vision. Studies have shown that children who wear contacts feel better about their physical appearance, athletic ability and social acceptance compared with children who wear glasses.

So, now that you know,  get your calendar out and book your child’s eye exam today!

Join us as optometrist Dr. Mary Lou French gives us the inside scoop on why you need to have your eyes examined regularly, the latest in contact lens options for you and your children, and tips for keeping everyone’s eyes healthy and safe.

When:  Wednesday, October 6th @12:30 pm EST

How to listen:  Go to our on-line radio show to sign up for an account – OR – just listen in via phone.  Dial 1-646-929-2625 at 12:30 pm EST.

The show will last for about a half hour…we’d love to hear your voice so just chime in with a question or…say hello!

How do women find the time to “do good” these days and have fun?

Enter Mary Jo Wallo.

Mary Jo Wallis is your basic renaissance woman.  In addition to surfing, snowboarding and running her own investment company in San Diego she has taken on the mantle as a national leader to Fight Frump (and Give Back!), or do “Altruism with Attitude!”  How, you ask?  Yes the sports play a role but there’s also her vision as co-creator of The Blue Thong Society, a national social and philanthropic women’s organization that’s grown since its inception in 2006 to 300 chapters and 5000 members.

Mary Jo joins Real Women on Health! as our featured guest this week, where she’s going to talk about The Blue Thong Society, give tips on what women can do to “Fight Frump!” by finding like-minded women and giving back, and tell us how BTS  was born.  A hint: it all started at her 50^th birthday when a friend noted that it could be time for the gift of a red hat.  Mary Jo laughed and said a blue thong was more her style…..and the rest, as they say, is history!

We’ll also hear from clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Yale University School of Medicine and private practitioner in New Haven, Connecticut.  Dr. Mary Jane Minken, widely known in the field of gynecology and as a leader in women’s health education both inside and outside the medical community, is giving a couple of minutes of her time to talk to us about powering your pelvic core….

Join Kelley Connors, host, Real Women on Health! with Cassie, Mary Jo and Dr. Mary Jane Minkin,  this Wednesday, May 12th at 8 pm – 9 pm EST streaming live on your computer or, if you live near Fairfield County, Connecticut  listen “on the AM dial” at 1350/1400.

Our show is sponsored by Zestra, essential arousal oils, a patented blend of botannicals that is clinically proven to improve desire, arousal and satisfaction for 70% of women.  Check this out and use promo code ZPASS5 at check out!

Do you know any women who’ve told you they have epilepsy?

Probably NOT!

Like breast cancer or multiple sclerosis, it’s not a club we ask to join…but, instead, make new choices to thrive alongside our own wellbeing journey.

Called the brain’s “electric storm”,  it’s more common than breast cancer and more ubiquitous than multiple sclerosis, cerebral palsy and muscular dystrophy combined.

I had the priviledge of coming across an inspiring young woman succeeding with epilepsy named Marion Clignet.  A 25-year old from Maryland, she’d been diagnosed three years before and told she couldn’t drive, so she put her passion into cycling and, over a decade, won six world titles, two Olympic silver medals and competed in more than 180 races worldwide.  Marion proved to be the “I can do it” gal and has been an inspiration to other women like her.

And she’s one of millions of women who are either patients themselves or caregiving for others with epilepsy.

To help highlight how women affected live fulfilling lives as patients and mothers, HealthyWomen created an inspirational and educational video series,  Women Succeeding with Epilepsy with support from UCB, Inc. HealthyWomen’s program is being promoted in conjunction with Epilepsy Advocates.

Through this educational campaign you can learn how the disorder can affect reproductive life, pregnancy and menopause.  You also can watch videos of Veronica C., a 30-year old with epilepsy who describes her life in high school and tips for living on your own, and Amy W., mother of Spencer who was diagnosed at birth, is now 11, on the student council, taking up golf and living life with a smile.

Trust me, these women’s stories are worth listening to — you can’t help but feel anything’s possible!

Thanks to HealthyWomen, Voted by Dr. Oz as his favorite women’s health web site, for sponsoring this on-line radio show!