Real Women on Health » sexual health

I Found the ME in Menopause

Kelley Connors — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 20:34:03 +0000

My Passage: How I Found the ME in Menopause.

Midlife is a journey, or as best-selling author, Gail Sheehy, might say, a passage or transition. Only there are distinct differences from that original publication back in 1976 when Ms. Sheehy was in her late 30’s, and first wrote about the midlife “crisis” as passage point.

Ms. Sheehy is the first to admit that the first book fell short on what would become the real midlife, as she had no idea of what 50 might look like herself in 1976, other than distinctly “old” images of her mother and father. Sound familiar? (Since then Ms. Sheehy has written New Passages and Passages for Caregivers, inspiring many women like me to also share my “passage”.)

Things are different today, in 2012, as we now know that menopause is a time of estrogen-deficiency, and not a crisis at all, but a virtual gateway to the next 30-40 more years of life. It’s a time of awakening, of realizing our potential, and potentially a very free-ing time in our lives.

That’s how I’ve chosen to see this time in my life and I’d like to be one of the increasing numbers of “old” women, who might see 92 from the third seat in a scull, and rowing in a Master’s rowing event instead of succumbing to osteoporosis, one of my biggest risk factors.

So, with my vision for how I wanted to be at 92, I became more interested in creating a foundation for wellbeing, a pathway that would give me the tools for a positive mindset, a flexible and strong body, and the energy to be creative – all factors in assuring longevity. Research shows us that doing all we can do in our 50’s is critical to setting a foundation for living well through out our life – emotionally, physically and spiritually.

How I Have Reinvented Menopause (so far)

As I near menopause, I decided to take new steps – steps that I had previously not really considered important in my life.

Now that I understand more about the physiological changes associated with estrogen loss, I decide to be more proactive in preserving my quality of life, and perhaps even gain strength, muscle mass and, the holy grail, fulfillment and happiness.

One thing was motivating me for sure – I did not want to succumb to the conflicting and disingenuous advertising messages we’re bombarded with as we women age!

First, I started to exercise for wellbeing. I made a decision to join a women’s rowing, or crew team and enjoy the company of like-minded women. It was not a decision that was easy to make, as I’m not an early morning person, but, as I’ve come to appreciate, there’s nothing like rowing on calm waters – and, there’s no better way to start a hectic day than rowing at 7 am. The really great thing about rowing is that you have to learn to “recover” from each stroke, giving you the cardiovascular strength you need to row for at least 30 minutes and possibly, achieve your target heart rate for at least 20 minutes. Cardiovascular strength training such as rowing or bike riding, is good for your heart, and makes you feel better, giving you a sense of wellbeing. While you will probably loose weight, the sense of wellbeing will be motivation enough to continue your commitment to yourself. You might even be able to rid yourself of an anti-depressant prescription!

Second, I took a proactive mindset instead of a reactive mindset around nutrition. One of the changes I made to my diet, as a result, was taking dietary supplements. New research showed that taking a multi-vitamin may not help us women live longer. However, there are several key dietary supplements that are recommended for menopausal women such as fish oil supplements ( Omega-3 fatty acids), Vitamin D and Calcium. Have you considered taking any of these supplements that are proven to help menopausal women?

Third, I created my first ME-Pause. This new concept was packaged in a not so neat bow, with no clear answer, no clinical trails, and, ironically, no obvious relationship to my health. My Me-Pause was a defining moment as I declared the death of my life as a run-on sentence. Taking time to pause, reflect, think and plan have become more important to me. Putting a comma in a sentence is a good thing. And, when you do this, menopause is much more fun, and wiser.

My ME-Pause turned out to be a cultural expedition to a little known ancient civilization, the last Shangri-La and a Buddhist haven nestled in the Himalayan Mountains – Bhutan. A remote civilization with few roads and hundreds of temples, Bhutan measures its progress by Gross National Happiness – as opposed to GNP. As Buddhists, the Bhutanese believe happiness arises from causing happiness in others. It’s more than a fleeting feeling of joy, but a belief in the power of positive thoughts, simple acts of kindness and love that transform people, communities and our relationship to the world.

The overarching result of my two-week trip to Bhutan with my aunt remains significant in my life today. I’m looking at menopause as a glass half full, a time in my life that is just the beginning to finding and designing the second half of my life with renewed passions and interests. I’m seeing, for the first time, that I can create my own wellspring for living better .. and into old age..and just maybe, I’ll have that third seat in the scull with three other women rowing the calm waters of the early morning.

Are You Interested in Designing the Second Half of Your Life? Join Real Women on Health this Wednesday, January 18^th at 12:30 pm with Jill Shaw Ruddock, Best-Selling Author, “The Second Half of Your Life’. Here’s your invitation to join us, Real Women on Health, for this on-line roundtable: http://eepurl.com/isFd6

Kelley Connors, MPH, is a women’s wellness coach, marketer and advocate for women’s health. She is the founder of Real Women on Health and President and Chief Creative Officer for KC Health.

Women’s Health: What’s at Stake?

Kelley Connors — Mon, 23 May 2011 16:59:28 +0000

Forty years ago, a group of twelve women banded together to dovetail on the women’s movement, and specifically in the area of women’s health and human rights. Their organization became known as the Boston Women’s Health Collective that then became a women’s health movement fueled by the book “Our Bodies, Ourselves”.

We thank Judy and her colleagues and staff for advocating for the voice of real women who will largely be affected by today’s politics and policies around health reform and the Medicare and Medicaid budget cuts.

Uterine Health for All Women

Kelley Connors — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 12:34:25 +0000

The Uterine Health Companion is good medicine. Because it’s written from the perspective of a medical anthropologist with cross-cultural experience, it highlights how very skewed the Western medical view of the uterus really is. I highly recommend this book.” –Christiane Northrup,
MD, author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom

What if you found out that deep inside you was an organ that, when given the right support, could help protect your heart, strengthen your immune
system, elevate your mood and even increase your sexual pleasure? If you are like most people, you would want to do everything you can to take
care of this valuable body part so it can help take care of you.

Join Kelley Connors, MPH, Women’s Health Advocate, with Eve Agee, PhD, on Wednesday, April 27th at 12:30 pm on “ The Uterine Health Companion” as they reveal key insights and new research that will change the way you view the role and importance of your uterus.

Join Kelley Connors, MPH and Eve Agee, PhD, as they explore beyond reproductive health to overall health including heart health and sexual health!

Bridge to Solidarity on International Women’s Day

Kelley Connors — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 13:38:29 +0000

This year is a special year for women around the world as we celebrate the 100th International Women’s Day, now recognized as a global mainstream phenomena and celebrated as an official holiday in approximately 25 countries including Afghanistan, Russia, Ukraine, Vietnam and Zambia.

As a women’s health advocate, marketer and communicator, I’m thrilled to see the bridge as a metaphor used to rally women and men at a time when we American women have a great role to play in bridging to a better future for our daughters. We also have a great opportunity to build solidarity with and among women all over the world.

Women in the US, for the most part, are a privileged community. Compared to women worldwide, the education and economic conditions of most women in the US far surpass countries like India, China and other developing nations and our health and wellbeing is generally better as a result.

Some of our celebratory highlights include the fact we women here in the US make up 50% of the work force, are starting businesses at twice the rate of men, and, notably, single women represent more of today’s home buyers than single men. And, during the current economic recession, unemployment rates for women have been lower than for men.

On the other hand, there are glaring contradictions in our country, and particularly when you look at domestic violence among young women and access to health care for women, for example, women suffering from HIV/AIDS. That’s why we must continue to build a bridge – a bridge to the better future our daughters and sisters are expecting from us.

For example, here in America, the rise in domestic violence against young women is complemented by new findings that some male partners are sabotaging women’s efforts to prevent pregnancy. At the same time, in developing countries, strong cultural norms still promote the practice of female genital mutilation. Around the world, young women are victims of sex trafficking and its horrific consequences.

That’s why IWD is very relevant for women in the US.

The bridge is also about SOLIDARITY and our ability to support women globally, far away from our own immediate needs – like the Egyptian women who have courageously participated in their country’s political uprising. And, who have forever change how the women in that country view their own power. It’s greater than “liberalism” as women lead the debate and seek a place at the new, and uncertain, political table.

In the spirit of the digital sisterhood and on International Women’s Day, let’s continue to build communities that allow us to share our unique voices and, at the same time, build a bridge of solidarity with our global sisters who are burdened with the struggle to find their voice.

Get Your Heart in Shape for Love

Kelley Connors — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 21:19:36 +0000

Is your heart in shape for love? (note to self: you have one week! lol!)

I’m not sure all the chocolate in the world will help your heart “get in shape” for love – the calories would be over the top, and it’s a ton of fat. But we’re not dissing the possibility that the flavenoids could lead to a lower risk of heart disease and cancer. And research also suggests that eating dark chocolate may help lower stress. After all, the dark chocolate we know well has cocoa in it which is known to contain immune-boosting and stress-busting hormones.

Aside from chocolate being a Valentine favorite, how else can you prepare yourself for America’s love fest with February 14th?

Clearly, cupid’s arrow has always been romantic. But, for real women, you’re invited to think of your heart as a dynamic, generous & passionate “pump” that if taken care of properly, can enrich our lives and relationships. It has the capacity to change perceptions, to unite opposites and change the world. Instead of ”health”, think of your power as a women to authentically guide communities and families to a healthier way of living…to living their best. For this to happen, it takes a big HEART.

Here’s how:

1. First, let’s get real. You need to know that your heart is open and available to receive and give. So, check your blood pressure. The ideal is 120/80 but new research shows that women at risk for heart disease need to keep a check on the diastolic ( the top number). (BTW: Eating dark chocolate may lower your blood pressure, but you need to stay away from milk chocolate and nougat.)

2. Do you know your cholesterol numbers? Most women don’t know but they do know their dress size in high school. That’s just wrong! Total cholesterol should be less than 200 mg/dL. There are two other numbers you need to check as well: LDL (or “bad” cholesterol) should be 100 to 129 mg/dL. Anything more than that needs to be monitored and lifestyle or medications considered by talking with your doctor. You may need to exercise, change your diet, or both to manage anything higher.

The second number is HDL ( or”good”cholesterol). That number should be 50 mg/dL or higher. And, finally, your triglycerides should be measured. Your goal is less than 150 mg/dL. Your cholesterol can be measured at your physician’s office or at

3. C’mon grab a friend, and start your heart healthy exercise plan. You’ll need a moderate exercise, at least 30 minutes a day, most days of the week. Can you briskly walk around your neighborhood ? Of course, if it’s been a while since you’ve been physically active, the hardest part is just getting started. Lucky for you, there’s the Go Red BetterU™, a free 12-week health improvement program for women that you can follow in your own home, with no expensive gym memberships or special equipment.

4. Get ready to laugh with us tomorrow, and get ready to laugh with your partner.

Join Kelley and Cassie in our on-line radio show tomorrow at 12:30 pm EST with Karyn Buxman, RN, and Nurse Humorist who will share her downright funny way of seeing the world, on why “Nonsense Makes the Heart Grow Fonder”. You’re invited to release those stress-busting hormones with a little laughter and get connected back to your loving self.

Whether it’s Valentine’s Day or Columbus Day, get your heart in shape for love, and share your passion with those you love, those you don’t and the rest of the universe. They’re all expecting you to do so!

PS. See what Michelle Obama says how laughter makes her marriage all the stronger!

Better Sleep: The Next Feminist Issue!

Kelley Connors — Sun, 16 May 2010 14:50:31 +0000

Spark the dialogue!

From Healthcare 2.0, to summer sun and skin cancer prevention, to sleep and sex, to a 6-time Olympic winning Guinness World Record holder….Real Women on Health! May 19^th radio show runs the gamut of guests and conversations.

The health consequences of sleep deprivation are already known, how cheating your body of the R&R it needs can make you more prone to illness, stress, traffic accidents and even weight gain. Arianna Huffington believes getting enough shut-eye is the next feminist issue. After all, women have already broken glass ceilings in politics, sports, business and the media – just imagine what we can do when we’re fully awake.

Can’t get to sleep?

You’ve heard wrong. Sex is exercise and a way to get yourself to sleep. Too tired to do much of anything? Listen in for some solutions that can help you in this area.

Lastly, you’ll get a taste of the inspirational this week with Anne Abernathy, a Guinness World Record holder who’s the oldest woman ever to compete in the Winter Olympics Games. Tune in to Real Women on Health! blogtalkradio at 12:30pm EST on Friday, May 21st to learn more about how she took up lugeing at the age of 33 (“the ski slopes were crowded”) and overcame multiple health issues to now become a women’s health advocate especially around bladder control.

Please join Kelley and Cassie hosts of Real Women on Health! and their guests this Wednesday, May 92th at 8 pm – 9 pm EST streaming live on your computer. Or, if you’re near Fairfield County, Connecticut, its 1350 or 1400 on the AM dial!

Boomer women fight “frump” (and give back!)

Kelley Connors — Tue, 11 May 2010 00:56:46 +0000

How do women find the time to “do good” these days and have fun?

Enter Mary Jo Wallo.

Mary Jo Wallis is your basic renaissance woman. In addition to surfing, snowboarding and running her own investment company in San Diego she has taken on the mantle as a national leader to Fight Frump (and Give Back!), or do “Altruism with Attitude!” How, you ask? Yes the sports play a role but there’s also her vision as co-creator of The Blue Thong Society, a national social and philanthropic women’s organization that’s grown since its inception in 2006 to 300 chapters and 5000 members.

Mary Jo joins Real Women on Health! as our featured guest this week, where she’s going to talk about The Blue Thong Society, give tips on what women can do to “Fight Frump!” by finding like-minded women and giving back, and tell us how BTS was born. A hint: it all started at her 50^th birthday when a friend noted that it could be time for the gift of a red hat. Mary Jo laughed and said a blue thong was more her style…..and the rest, as they say, is history!

We’ll also hear from clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Yale University School of Medicine and private practitioner in New Haven, Connecticut. Dr. Mary Jane Minken, widely known in the field of gynecology and as a leader in women’s health education both inside and outside the medical community, is giving a couple of minutes of her time to talk to us about powering your pelvic core….

Join Kelley Connors, host, Real Women on Health! with Cassie, Mary Jo and Dr. Mary Jane Minkin, this Wednesday, May 12th at 8 pm – 9 pm EST streaming live on your computer or, if you live near Fairfield County, Connecticut listen “on the AM dial” at 1350/1400.

Our show is sponsored by Zestra, essential arousal oils, a patented blend of botannicals that is clinically proven to improve desire, arousal and satisfaction for 70% of women. Check this out and use promo code ZPASS5 at check out!

A Taboo Explored: Cancer, Sex, and Intimacy

Kelley Connors — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 19:31:30 +0000

We’re a culture that mixes sexy and boobs. So, can a woman feel sexy without breasts?

For breast cancer, and other, survivors, the question sounds just as practical as provoking. Breast cancer is the most common kind of cancer affecting women, except non-melanoma skin cancer. It’s commonness increases with age and with more targeted treatments available today, women are living longer with cancer.

But the effects of treatment remain. In some cases, women choose to have their breast removed as prevention… while others have no choice and must have surgery and chemotherapy. Regardless of the path a woman chooses, cancer wreaks havoc on her “sensual self”. From the toxic effects of chemotherapy on hair and skin to the disfigurement of breast removal, how do women regain a sense of sensuality?

And, what about sex? Does sex have a place in living with cancer?

Sensuality and sexuality and what happens after cancer are vital questions for women coping with cancer today.

Because the loss of sexual desire after cancer has more than one reason behind it, restoring libido or “desire” often requires more than one solution. It’s not at all just about boobs for many women. And, sometimes the desire for sex remains strong, however, the physiological effects of cancer treatment itself interferes with performance or pleasure.

The topic is one plagued by the medicalization of women’s health, the lack of communication between the healthcare professional and patient, societal taboos around sex and women’s bodies, poor communication between intimate partners and lack of understanding of the impact of cancer treatment. In fact, in the beginning, women may feel guilty that they are thinking about anything other than “surviving” so the question of “What’s going to happen to my sex life” is left outside of any medical setting.

Since women don’t talk about it with healthcare professionals, Real Women on Health! will open up the dialogue with Lisa Martinez, former Executive Director of the Women’s Sexual Health Foundation, on Wednesday evening 8 pm EST on local radio WSTC 1350/WNLK 1400 or live streaming on the web at www.wstcwnlk.com.

Lisa Martinez is a consultant and educator on women’s health issues and was the Founder of The Women’s Sexual Health Foundation. As a registered nurse and an attorney, she is a leader in the area of women’s health. She has appeared on CBS News LA and ABC, and has been interviewed on various NPR programs. She has served as a source for multiple media concerns including CBS, The Wall Street Journal, Self, More Magazine, and Discovery Health.

Our radio show is sponsored by Zestra, essentail arousal oils, a patented blend of botannicals clinically proven to improve arousal, desire and satisfaction in 70% of women. Please click here to learn more about Zestra and use this code: ZPASS5