My Passage: How I Found the ME in Menopause.

Midlife is a journey, or as best-selling author, Gail Sheehy, might say, a passage or transition. Only there are distinct differences from that original publication back in 1976 when Ms. Sheehy was in her late 30’s, and first wrote about the midlife “crisis” as passage point.

Ms. Sheehy is the first to admit that the first book fell short on what would become the real midlife, as she had no idea of what 50 might look like herself in 1976, other than distinctly “old” images of her mother and father. Sound familiar? (Since then Ms. Sheehy has written New Passages and Passages for Caregivers, inspiring many women like me to also share my “passage”.)

Things are different today, in 2012, as we now know that menopause is a time of estrogen-deficiency, and not a crisis at all, but a virtual gateway to the next 30-40 more years of life.    It’s a time of awakening, of realizing our potential, and potentially a very free-ing time in our lives.

That’s how I’ve chosen to see this time in my life and I’d like to be one of the increasing numbers of “old” women, who might see 92 from the third seat in a scull, and rowing in a Master’s rowing event instead of succumbing to osteoporosis, one of my biggest risk factors.

So, with my vision for how I wanted to be at 92,  I became more interested in creating a foundation for wellbeing, a pathway that would give me the tools for a positive mindset, a flexible and strong body, and the energy to be creative – all factors in assuring longevity. Research shows us that doing all we can do in our 50’s is critical to setting a foundation for living well through out our life – emotionally, physically and spiritually.

How I Have Reinvented Menopause (so far)

As I near menopause, I decided to take new steps – steps that I had previously not really considered important in my life.

Now that I understand more about the physiological changes associated with estrogen loss, I decide to be more proactive in preserving my quality of life, and perhaps even gain strength, muscle mass and, the holy grail, fulfillment and happiness.

One thing was motivating me for sure – I did not want to succumb to the conflicting and disingenuous advertising messages we’re bombarded with as we women age!

First, I started to exercise for wellbeing.   I made a decision to join a women’s rowing, or crew team and enjoy the company of like-minded women.   It was not a decision that was easy to make, as I’m not an early morning person, but, as I’ve come to appreciate, there’s nothing like rowing on calm waters – and, there’s no better way to start a hectic day than rowing at 7 am.  The really great thing about rowing is that you have to learn to “recover” from each stroke, giving you the cardiovascular strength you need to row for at least 30 minutes and possibly, achieve your target heart rate for at least 20 minutes.  Cardiovascular strength training such as rowing or bike riding, is good for your heart, and makes you feel better, giving you a sense of wellbeing.  While you will probably loose weight, the sense of wellbeing will be motivation enough to continue your commitment to yourself.  You might even be able to rid yourself of an anti-depressant prescription!

Second, I took a proactive mindset instead of a reactive mindset around nutrition.  One of the changes I made to my diet, as a result, was taking dietary supplements.  New research showed that taking a multi-vitamin may not help us women live longer.   However, there are several key dietary supplements that are recommended for menopausal women such as fish oil supplements ( Omega-3 fatty acids), Vitamin D and Calcium.   Have you considered taking any of these supplements that are proven to help menopausal women?

Third, I created my first ME-Pause.  This new concept was packaged in a not so neat bow, with no clear answer, no clinical trails, and, ironically, no obvious relationship to my health.  My Me-Pause was a defining moment as I declared the death of my life as a run-on sentence. Taking time to pause, reflect, think and plan have become more important to me.  Putting a comma in a sentence is a good thing. And, when you do this, menopause is much more fun, and wiser.

My ME-Pause turned out to be a cultural expedition to a little known ancient civilization, the last Shangri-La and a Buddhist haven nestled in the Himalayan Mountains – Bhutan.   A remote civilization with few roads and hundreds of temples, Bhutan measures its progress by Gross National Happiness – as opposed to GNP.   As Buddhists, the Bhutanese believe happiness arises from causing happiness in others. It’s more than a fleeting feeling of joy, but a belief in the power of positive thoughts, simple acts of kindness and love that transform people, communities and our relationship to the world.

The overarching result of my two-week trip to Bhutan with my aunt remains significant in my life today.  I’m looking at menopause as a glass half full, a time in my life that is just the beginning to finding and designing the second half of my life with renewed passions and interests.  I’m seeing, for the first time, that I can create my own wellspring for living better .. and into old age..and just maybe, I’ll have that third seat in the scull with three other women rowing the calm waters of the early morning.

Are You Interested in Designing the Second Half of Your Life?  Join Real Women on Health this Wednesday, January 18^th at 12:30 pm with Jill Shaw Ruddock, Best-Selling Author, “The Second Half of Your Life’.  Here’s your invitation to join us, Real Women on Health, for this on-line roundtable:  http://eepurl.com/isFd6

Kelley Connors, MPH, is a women’s wellness coach, marketer and advocate for women’s health.  She is the founder of Real Women on Health and President and Chief Creative Officer for KC Health.

What if you found out that deep inside you was an organ that, when given the right support, could help protect your heart, strengthen your immune
system, elevate your mood and even increase your sexual pleasure? If you are like most people, you would want to do everything you can to take
care of this valuable body part so it can help take care of you.

Join Kelley Connors, MPH, Women’s Health Advocate, with Eve Agee, PhD, on Wednesday, April 27th at 12:30 pm on “ The Uterine Health Companion” as they reveal key insights and new research that will change the way you view the role and importance of your uterus.

Join Kelley Connors, MPH and Eve Agee, PhD, as they explore beyond reproductive health to overall health including heart health and sexual health!

I’ve been rivotted by the media attention on Gabby, and I follow her medical progress like I was a member of her family or medical team.  I take great comfort in knowing that she has such a dedicated care team – her husband, mother and health care professionals – who are willing to share her progress with us, and the world.

Having said that, I’m interested in speaking with another unsung hero in caregiving, Lori LaBey, author of Alzheimer’s Speaks.  My sense is that it’s a quite different journey for those caregivers of Alzheimer’s disease -  a 24/7 journey filled with stress like no other.

We can pretty much say that while the cognitive function is impaired, and the physical body is limited in basic function, caregivers for traumatic brain injuried loved ones may not experience the stigma and sense of loss associated with Alzheimers – an under-funded condition of aging, predicted to triple from 5 million today to affect 15 million Americans over 65 by mid-century.

As I watched my favorite TV program, Sunday Morning, news journalist Barry Pedersen talked about his wife, Jan Chorlton Petersen.  At 56,  she is barely the person that Barry knew six years ago when she was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers.

“It’s really challenging to grieve someone that you’ve just helped take a bath and get them dressed, ” says Barry in his recent interview with Sunday Morning.

Join me on Wednesday, January 26th @12:30 pm EST with Lori LaBey,  caregiving expert, trainer, and author of Alzheimer’s Speaks.  The award-winning blog helps caregivers can find the inspirational resources, practical daily tips and an awareness of the everyday triumphs that will help you transform your care giving from an experience of crisis to one of comfort.

Are you kidding?? You mean losing weight?  Those twenty pounds I never lost?

But, truth be told, I did accomplish something I  NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT I WOULD EVER DO and it was so much BIGGER than health, exercise, or losing weight.  It was an unspoken dare that I met with confidence!

I rode 100 miles around Lake Tahoe to benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society as part of the Team in Training program.   Armed with the support of my sister, my husband and friends, I jumped on my first bike ride in March and finished 12 weeks of training on Saturdays before getting on the plane with thousands of others raising funds for leukemia.  I can’t tell you how thrilling it was!

So, while it was not on my resolution list a year ago, I did, in fact, train for and complete the ride and I can’t wait to do it again this year – even if I stay local in Connecticut for the 63-mile Bloomin’ Metric.

But, I’ll need help in achieving my goal in 2011…and I invite you to join us as we support other women, like you,  in achieving their goal, too.

Here’s your invitation to make  2011 YOUR time…and go after something you never would consider doing on your own.

It might be time to change your  life and actually accomplish something fulfilling, right?

Here’s how you can make 2011 a year that’s fulfilling, exciting and purposeful!

Join Cassie and I on January 5^th at 12:30 pm,  with Barbara Hannah Grufferman, Author of “The Best of Everything After 50” in our 30 minute on-line radio show (like a kitchen table talk conversation).  Our conversation is about how we can take small steps to achieve a big goal and actually change our life.  Just ask Barbara!

Barbara kick started her 2010 by declaring that she would run the NYC Marathon.  Find out from the expert how the process of training for the marathon lieterally “changed her life” and put her on a pathway to exercise and vitality.

Here’s your secret code to join us:  Just dial 1-646-929-2625 or get an account with blogtalkradio and dial in on Wednesday, January 5th at 12:30 pm EST.  We’ll follow this show with additional on-line radio shows so we can share our victories and vices!

Wait a minute here.  It’s Christmas time and we’re headed to the breast surgeon

Just this week, my mom received a diagnosis of breast cancer. The stats show she’s unfortunately not alone and has way too much company – with one in eight women who have a lifetime risk of this particular diagnosis.

My naivete in expecting bad news to spare us at Christmas is partly sponsored by mom’s fantastic physical fitness.  She’s a robust  75 years old, and in excellent health.  Seriously, she rides her bike 30 miles a day more than twice a week still, and her and my father have been seen riding “up island” to Menemsha on Martha’s Vineyard recently which has at least three hills that even competitive riders loathe.

Since she’s made such a huge anti-cancer deposit,  why can’t the cancer gods put a hold on their appearance til our sense of humor kicks in…like March or June? I mean, we’re headed to San Francisco for Christmas. There’s no room for cancer!

Even more so, why did the breast center call us the day before a weekend to let us know that the tests were malignant but…the information was insufficient to determine if its invasive or in situ?  As we learned exploring breastcancer.org, there’s a big difference between the two.

Now, that we spent a whole weekend frozen in time, cancelling Christmas travel plans, and imagining the worst… I can unravel the last 74 hours and advise you to do the following any time of year, but especially around the holidays:

1. There’s a big difference among breast cancer types and it’s important to have a basic working knowledge of the differences.  I recommend visiting breast cancer.org to prime you in essential vocabulary that will help greatly in talking with the doctor – whether radiologist or surgeon.   In situ means the cancer cells or malignant epithelial cells have not penetrated the wall of their specific location.  So, in my mom’s case, the malignant cells were contained inside the wall of the duct.

This is the best news you can get if you receive a cancer diagnosis from your breast center or physician.  For more on in-situ, read this from breastcancer.org. Become knowledgeable about the stage of cancer and what it means for treatment options before going into panic mode.

2.  Understand that even health care professionals take holidays. If your situation does not involve urgent action between Christmas and New Years, wait til after New Years to resume your appointments or surgery.  This will ensure that the health care team is back from vacation and there are fewer gaps in communication among team members.  Let’s just say this means the deck is stacked in your favor more…and  your care won’t be as fragmented.

3. Start thinking of self-care as a necessary gift. I ensured my mom had a massage after her first appointment with the surgeon yesterday.  The stress of the diagnosis led to back ache and spasm and she felt so much better afterwards.   A body massage or cranial sacral therapy is a way of nurturing your body and relieving the stress that comes with the “C” word diagnosis.

4. Carefully consider who you will share your initial news with. You might not have all of the information you need at an early stage to alarm yourself …or your family and friends.  An early stage diagnosis is not necessarily comprehensive.

5. Make sure you bring a friend of family member with you to appointments to help in asking questions and understanding the answers.  Plus, there is no over-estimating the moral support you receive from a trustworthy friend.

If the news was as good as my mom’s, you can even celebrate an early stage diagnosis and the straightforward treatment (radiation and hormone therapy) that will follow.

What’s important to know is that breast cancer isn’t just one diagnosis. —it’s there are several different kinds of breast cancer, each requiring its own specific treatment.  And, if you want to know about the latest research from the San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium, there’s a transcript of important information available at breastcancer.org

Have you recently been diagnosed with a worrisome condition?  How did you cope with it?  Pls share your comments or email me at kelley@realwomenonhealth.com!

I’m interested in menopause because with women living well into their 80’s, and with an average age of menopause at 50 – there remains about 30 years of healthy aging during which time many early age habits reveal their havoc…and fruits.

One of the most interesting presentations incorporated information around preventing fractures during this estrogen-deficient time in women’s lives. In fact, by labeling this time in women’s lives as “estrogen-deficient” as opposed to a “disease or medical problem”, I believe there could be a more “whole woman” approach to managing bone health that includes exercise, diet and lifestyle changes.

3 Key Take-Aways:

1.  Management of bone health must start earlier in a woman’s life to prolong bone health as long as possible. It’s inevitable that women will loose bone once estrogen levels decline.  Bone density tests will only confirm that, yes – just as science says, women lose bone as they age.  That’s nothing new. How we manage it though requires a mindset shift.

2.  The mindset shift is needed because of the way we’ve treated millions of pre-menopausal and post-menopausal women presenting with “low” bone density scores.  The news is not that more women may need osteoporosis drugs to manage osteoporosis.   In fact, many women could be over-treated with biphosphonates like Actonel, Boniva and Fosamax.   There has also been concern that long-term use of these drugs may result in an accumulation of older bone in the skeleton (because the drugs slow down the activity of scavenger cells, which clear away older bone to make room for new). Right now this is more a theory than a finding, but the thinking is that over time these drugs might make the skeleton more, not less, brittle.

3.  What would make an approach to bone health  more comprehensive and palatable to woman who don’t like Rx drugs added onto their breakfast plate, is more awareness about  an assessment of the 10-year estimate of the risk of fracture.  Called FRAX, the test includes a bone density test and is one that many doctors still under-utilize as a tool to predict risk of fracture.  FRAX was introduced in 1994 – a while ago – but it’s not a drug and requires time to administer and analyze.  For more information on FRAX check out the National Osteoporosis Foundation’s web site.

The tool that requires the healthcare professional to carefully input risk factors like smoking, age, alcohol consumption,  and other risk indicators as well as the bone density test results.  But, it is “spine-less” in that it does not reveal vertebral fracture.

The net result: Over-treatment

A considerable number of younger postmenopausal women whose risk of fracturing a bone in the near future is statistically minuscule are being treated prematurely or unnecessarily. Nelson B. Watts, MD, of the University of Cincinnati Bone Health and Osteoporosis Center, says that if 30-year-old women submitted themselves en masse to the World Health Organization’s measurement criteria, fully 16 percent would be diagnosed with Osteopenia – a condition that, in and of itself, does not require medication but prevention!  It is never too late to prevent progression of Osteopenia!

The Net Result: Under-treatment

The other, perhaps more troubling, side of this story: Under the current parameters, many older people who face immediate grave risk of fracture aren’t getting treatment, simply because their T-scores don’t demand it. At Oregon Health & Science University, a 2005 study of women age 65 and older found that, based on the World Health Organization’s bone density criteria, more than half of the women who suffered hip fractures did not technically have osteoporosis.

Here’s what a Real Woman Can Do:

Let’s work on preventing osteoporosis not treating it before we really have it!  No doubt that many (but not all) women in their 50’s can work with their healthcare professional or nutritionist to achieve the recommended dose of calcium and Vitamin D for prevention of osteoporosis – before women age into their 60′s and 70′s…. where the “real risk” of fracture increases exponentially as estrogen-deficiency takes a greater toll …and environmental factors play a greater role.

Hey, here’s a way to reduce fracture risk:  get off that step ladder and let someone else clean the gutters!

Many people mistakenly believe that beautiful eyes and seeing well translates to good eye health.

But, as women, our own vision can be compromised by “presbyopia” as well as other age-related and environmental conditions that create dry eyes, itchy eyes and watery eyes.   For example, in menopause, women may experience dry eyes that, if not treated, can affect the quality of vision as well as comfort and quality of life.

Although it’s hard to put your own health first, you shouldn’t have to “put up with” discomfort in your eyes or strain in reading.  It’s definitely worth seeing an eye doctor to explore what the cause and treatment might be.

If an annual eye exam has not been on your “wellness list,” you might want to book your eye doctor appointment and while you’re at it, book one for your children.

Did you know that about 20 percent of children develop nearsightedness—the most common eye condition requiring vision correction?

Good vision is critical to children’s development, so once you’re at the doctor,   make sure you save time and ask about the best vision correction options for your kids.

If your child is eight years of age or older, contact lenses may be a good choice and your eye care professional can help evaluate if it’s the best fit.

The benefits of contacts for children extend far beyond just improved vision. Studies have shown that children who wear contacts feel better about their physical appearance, athletic ability and social acceptance compared with children who wear glasses.

So, now that you know,  get your calendar out and book your child’s eye exam today!

Join us as optometrist Dr. Mary Lou French gives us the inside scoop on why you need to have your eyes examined regularly, the latest in contact lens options for you and your children, and tips for keeping everyone’s eyes healthy and safe.

When:  Wednesday, October 6th @12:30 pm EST

How to listen:  Go to our on-line radio show to sign up for an account – OR – just listen in via phone.  Dial 1-646-929-2625 at 12:30 pm EST.

The show will last for about a half hour…we’d love to hear your voice so just chime in with a question or…say hello!

Sharon, our first featured guest, will talk about her journey from devastated parent to, dare we say, “genius?” A former college chaplain who took the life-altering news of her children’s rare genetic condition and created a movement to improve health outcomes for people suffering from genetic diseases, she is a stunning example of how one Real Woman can make a difference.

Sharon’s joined by fellow guest Barbara Grufferman, author of the acclaimed The Best of Everything After 50: The Experts’ Guide to Style, Sex, Health. Money and More. Recently featured on “The Today Show” and in Huffington Post, The Best of Everything…. is the essential handbook to being a healthy and strong woman “of a certain age.”  It combines practical girlfriend-to-girlfriend advice from Barbara, a self-described “very inquisitive woman over 50,” and professional expertise from leading authorities in women’s health, nutrition, exercise, makeup, hair, fashion, finance, organization and sex.

Seriously, this book is one-stop shopping for those of us looking to feel and be our best!

In addition to featured guests, Real Women on Health! continues to bring listeners “Inside the Beltway” news from Robin Strongin, a Washington DC public affairs leader and creator of Disruptive Women on Health, an online platform for provocative ideas, thoughts, and solutions in the health arena.

RWoH! wants to hear your answer to the question: what are your tips for being a fabulous woman over 50?  Join our facebook discussion here!